Hello lovelies! Ohmygod I'm supposed to update my blog like 2 weeks ago (lol very unloyal👎). Anyways, I've been thinking of what should I post about on my blog. I don't have a good social life hahaha.Instead of hanging out with friends, I act like a hermit.( that's what my mum said 😂).So, what is it that has taken over my social life? 👀. However, I don't actually regret or feel bad like "omg what have I gotten myself into". YES, if you guessed it right, it's KPOP.
Ha, sure. Some of you might see this as something overrated(?).I mean we're talking about a worldwide sensation here. This whole Kpop thing actually leave a HUGE impact on my life. On ME, MYSELF. The names that I'll probably get may be 'obsessive', 'crazy', 'weird', 'delusional' etc. But the 'obsessive crazy' girl they're calling is actually me. That's who I am. And THAT girl is very happy. Yes, who knows this silly 'childish' matter can change myself. Let me tell you what I was before I got sucked into this black hole(lol). When I was in high school, I suffered from depression(not severe tho) but I didn't like standing out in public. I hated presentations. I hated canteen. I hated everything that involves people. Back then, my 'friends' weren't actually friends. They made fun of my physical appearance. I used to eat like everything is so delicious. But these words; "why do you eat like that?" "you look so funny when eating". These words changed the way I see food. I saw them as poison and they didn't taste as tasty as it should. Everything was blunt. I started to care about my weight and eat smaller portion than usual. I was not the same person as I am now. I hated myself so much that I forgot how I look like. The word 'smile' was very foreign to me. All I saw was just myself walking down dark and cold tunnel waiting to see a light that would show the way out.
When I was 16, it was like a fresh new start. I made some friends. I was kinda embarrassed of myself because most of them were guy friends. (I still have my girl friends tho).Apart from these beautiful people who lifted me up, they were also another beautiful creatures from across the ocean. The first ever group I discovered was EXO. I didn't know they were very well known in my school that I literally asked every one of my classmate😅. After every tiring and stressful day at school, I would watched their shows and videos. I laughed and smiled at their silliness. Just thinking how could they be that dumb. But, my love for them didn't last. I disliked how they treat each other as bandmates. They were different off-camera and on-camera. Of course, that's not what I want. I wanted to see something real so I could be myself again.
And again, I discovered BTS.(Bangtan Boys). I remembered I watched their first mv (Dope mv.) I was so stunned of how good looking they were. Their synchronised choreography. Their charisma. Then, I started watching all of their mvs and I followed them on every social media. I created a Tumblr of them. I was very in love with them to the point I forgot what sadness was.
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| Sometimes I question myself how am I so in love with these boys |
Until now, which is 2017. I still love them to the bits. I love how they remind me it's okay to eat. They remind me it's okay to have flaws. What I love the most is they're not afraid of showing their true selves. It's amazing how these boys who live across the ocean can still be there(not literally) when I'm at the weakest rather than the people who's actually here, breathing the same air as me cannot do the same. I'm someone who's always insecure and always care about what people think of me. And then there's BTS. They can go out in the public eye and medias barefaced. They can just laugh out loud and still act like a 6 years old. Just think about how much courage and confidence they gathered to do that as an idol. Idols are about 'looking good no flaws' image. They could undergo a plastic surgery to enhance their features or fix their flaws but they didn't (FIGHT ME IF YOU THINK THEY HAD).Why? Because they know their fans are looking up to them.Rather than showing the fans to HIDE the flaws, they teach us to embrace them. This is the kind of people I look up to. What makes me more fond of them is their humble family background. Not all of them came from the city. They came from small village( they're like budak kampung haha).
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| yas that's my Suga right there 💖 |
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| JHope who always shine bright like the actual sun 🌞 |
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| Jungkook the Golden maknae 👶 |
Just look at those bare faces it's illegal for them to feel insecure(for anyone really)
They came from different family background but they succeed together. They went through hardships as trainees together. What really envy me is the fact that they all have stable academic performances. Jungkook who just graduated high school (he's 20) with all the busy schedule of concerts,tours,dance practices etc. Oh man, look at me! I have a normal life as a student but still screwed up my academic performances back in high school😭 Seokjin also just graduated from his university. JUST HOW IN THE WORLD THEY DO THAT. Whatever it is, all these achievements really push me and inspire me to work hard and they make me believe hard work REALLY worth it. Whenever I think I wanna quit and just decided to be a stone in another life, I look back at these boys. Do you think ALL of them are doing what they love? Suga doesn't. He said he didn't want to be an idol. He just wanted to make music. His parents didn't approve of him debuting as an idol at first. Well now he's all happy and that's what matters. Also, Rapmon who has an IQ of 148 wanted to be a rapper but his parents wanted him to continue studying. But, he convinced his mum to let him be a rapper and here he is now living his dreams. I think if I continue the list of why I love these boys to death, one blog post isn't enough hahaha. So, I'll stop here then. Thank you so much for taking your time reading this long ass post. Leave me comments if you love BTS as much as I do💓😉
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| They graduated but I'm the one who feels proud |
Ps: do watch their latest mvs,
Not Today (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DwzBICPhdM)
Spring day (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEeFrLSkMm8)
I just highkey promoting my boys not even sorry😜
Not Today (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DwzBICPhdM)
Spring day (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEeFrLSkMm8)
I just highkey promoting my boys not even sorry😜
"Keep on dreaming hard just no matter where you are"
" No matter how far I will always restart"
